Sunday, 3 September 2017

I am Working On It..

When you can't find your way that's okay.
I have been really struggling with my whole well being.
Physical health is ongoing Anal Cancer issues. Limboland is stressful. Takes me to fear, anxiety...the what if's...and is tiring to be stressed (which causes me to feel ill).
I am not having much quality of life.
My emotions are a constant roller coaster.
I am often alone. Part by illness ...part by lack of connections.
These physical and emotional struggles have brought depression along....I am feeling unlovable. My body a wreck. I don't think anyone would want to be with me as a partner.
My mind... everywhere...
I work at the things I can. Staying in Today is the hardest. I worry...and letting it go is something I learn. I can...then something happens and I take it back on.
Work...
Work to stay present.
Work to keep going.
Work to feel worth.
When I am lost I reach out. I often do not want to. Necessary. For me it is life saving.

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