5 Alive

It has been hard to write. There are many complicated issues happening all together.  Overwhelmed is not strong enough a word. Nor is turmoil.  These things do not come with handbooks.  Over my lifetime I have experienced , seen or heard some of the most unusual for a normal lifetime.  Some not by choice and some by choice. There have been times 'this body' (could be any one of us) has lived outside the lifebox. We want to experience it. Most of those were fun and hold good memories.  Memories of good times seem to end.  I have been under a year in an apartment in town. That has been a big adjustment. Lots is just not familiar or comfortable yet. I have been home and isolated, fear about losing my step father (my rock) runs rampant. He has fast progressing alzheimers and the doctors fear cancer as well.  Fear about what is happening with my own body due to a battle with Anal Cancer is high. I have been at this 'game' with doctors for too long. With Covid appointments we

She openly wept He watched The end inevitable At heads No passage He could not be She could not be The expected Neither gave way The two hid Love tossed Aside to sit Both to linger In their own Oneness She wept He watched She withered In loneliness His hand Remained tucked In lost past Breaking hearts His self stance Grazed heart By love's bullet Unseen pain He hid Tears unshown She did not see Turning away She did not feel The cold Take hold Of him