5 Alive

A lifetime of living in the weeds of lies and reality manipulation it was her trials that led her to coping in ways many could not fathom.  Her mind was young and fragile. In the blasts of traumas it fragramented.  Building walls and seeking safe harbors.  It continued through her life.  The weeds followed. Added, she often made choices that had new weeds of mistruths and pain.  Relationships that dragged her back under. More weeds. A marriage failed after 13 years of her hopes dashed. Trust blown again. Her reality messed with repeatedly. Lies and addiction...the weeds covered her over. It was long years of resurfacing. Slowly peeking out to find life. The last relationship was 7 years. She thought she'd found her place. A person to go old with. Weeds grew. Betrayal. Left. Given a parting gift of hpv cancer.  10 years later, nearing 52, she wondered if the weeds would stop. She was breathing.  Peeking with hopes. Alone had become ok but no green grass was growing.  Hack down the w

Beyond my four walls What life to find Hopes to fill Connections to make Each day progressing  Out the door My haven left My four walls I've watched Days on end Freedom beyond Safe Harbour To expand A route to make For me To breathe Fresh air Beyond my four walls ~A.R.

I am drawn to you . I have no idea why, there is a warm feeling when I think of you.  Deeply I care. Putting my heart on my sleeve.  Yet, I know how much you could hurt me if you wanted to.  I feel a push - pull to you. Sometimes you give me your smile. Sometimes you swat me away. Harsh reality. My heart feels so much. This life is so short. Loved ones..the true kind..hard to come by.  I like you. Know this. Know I care so much. I am real. These are my truths. 

Wonderous world Curious soul Eyes I see You and me Days to battle Days to learn Moments of laughter In darkness Hold hands ~A.R.*