5 Alive

I am in my 51st year. I live by the belief that you are 'only as old as you think'. Realistic, no. Life has had many moments of body, mind and soul hurts. Some left damage. Yet I try to have the spirit of youth. Curious and a mind to grow in wisdom. Experiences are the liferide. I have big hair that is fairly long. Brown with natural highlights of auburn, blonde, black, and thick wirey silvers I think I earned. They add to my sparkle those silver hairs.  So...it's decade 6 I have recently entered. I am not liking the numbers. I often feel it. Remembering past things gets to be a reality slap. My lordy was that really that long ago??? Indeed, these things were.  50 plus. Living in a one bedroom apartment with my little dog. 7 year old boy Chorkie who is 6.4 pds heavy. Shhh...it's Winter weight...maybe too many Covid isolation treats. Tyson. I didn't name him. He reminds me of a Wookie. A wookie..you know...from Star Wars. Google it, ask Siri or Alexa. And yes U saw t...

Boxing...It isn't literal.  Life is handing me a whopping amount of 'stuff'. Big stuff.  Currently my pa/pops/sdad is in the hospital. He had a fall and with his grade 7/8 Alzheimers they are keeping him until a care home can be found for him. That could be many months.  Because of Covid restrictions he is only allowed one visitor for one hour once a week. Also... no one til he calms...... My pain is layered and deep.  The complications are also in trying to cope as a person with D.I.D. Being 5 Alive is being in 5 different 'parts' grieving. All in different spots and levels of understanding. My pa is Our rock forever. He was safety. He was all the good stuff... We feel it is time for us to do all we can for him. We cannot. Rules. Blockers. Agendas not Ours.  We are dodging some "be happy..he is safe..." because it feels no better.  Words, comfort..there is none helping.  We would be with him day and night if he needed. We would comfort him. We would c...