Monday, 11 December 2017

Own your Feelings

I used to use blame. It is what I knew.
Ie:
You make me feel angry.
You did that and hurt me.

I am learning that we are each responsible for our own feelings.
We cannot assume the intent of another.
We feel. Absolutely. Our responses are ours though.

There is an anology:

A joke is told two laugh, one is angry and one burst into tears. The jokster is on tv....
Each have different responses. Is this the joksters doing? Does that tv person have that power....to make you feel?

Feelings are part innate and part learned through experience.
Peer influence and life factors contribute. 

I have to own my feelings. I can make some change in my responses. I can clarify with the other person intent. I can convey what I have going on inside. I can think about my reaction.

Act
Not React

Separate the other person from the behavior...as we all make errors and do things without thinking.

Love the person
Not the behavior.

When we own our feelings we can work to free ourselves.
The feelings are real. They come from within us.
The blame game..You did such and such..is not productive.
Ie:
I feel....when such and such happened.
I got angry when such and such was said.

Own self.
Own power.

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