Illness is not by Choice

Whether it be physical or mental health no one chooses to be ill. The status of the illness must be determined by the medical community. Diagnosis may take long and arduous procedures and testing to determine a route of treatment. For some illnesses it may take a long time and a lot of trial and error before finding the right treatment plan. At any time this could change as the illness progresses or if it does not respond.
For many with mental illness the stigma associated leaves them in hiding not seeking treatment and therefore suffering alone. In some places some disorders are not understood well or mental illness is not considered a priority and no treatment is available.
Striving to survive everyday I look for ways help myself. I have a medical community. I have a therapist. I have a great social worker. Many still do not understand my disorder. Including my local hospital. So if I am suicidal, and because I have disassociative identity disorder, I may be in an altar state seemingly calm. An altar is not me. The altar is calm and trying to help. It is me the host, that is in suicidal distress. Last time they sent me home. Fortunately Alters kept me safe.
A childhood that was not of the norm, with many moments of traumatic event left me with a defense mechanism that even I don't understand. I did not choose to be this way. But it has saved my life on many occasions.
Depression and anxiety take me daily. I have a hyper-vigilance, and very sensitive. Easily triggered at times. Yet I push forward and I do my best to live a giving and kind life. What more can you ask for? I am one of the ill, the mentally ill.