Damn Body

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Back to new specialist...3 hours
north of home...4 in a snowstorm!😨
It was a heck of a drive. Going north thru bush and rock on the 6 to 4 to 2 to 4 lane highway. 
Wind and snow and those crusty little snowballs...
Made it. Nerves rattling.
New Anal Cancer Specialist was very compassionate and informing and ...gentle.
It is an aweful process but I got thru the check.
I have two spots that need to be removed.
"They are nothing until they are something" is how it is.
I feel...a lot...but I am so tired.
Relief as I could feel something not right.
Anger this continues on and on ...like I am planning hospital stuff all over for New Year already.
Sad I am missing so much living time...
That Is NOT the list I want to be doing!
Maybe I need to plan Me days inbetween...yes..plan some of that much needed self care!
(Honestly my brain body and heart all just wish to wrap up tight and hide in sleep)
For tonight rest. Pull thoughts together.
Breathe lots. 😥

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