Friday, 1 December 2017

Still Moving..Yet Stuck

I have do much going on.
I am tackling my physical living space  boxing up and cleaning. 
Total hell actually. A mice army to battle..
I am winning. Their hidy holes have been cleared.
It is a lot of pulling out stuff to clean and might as well sort at same time.
With that always comes memory lane. Good - Bad -Indifferent/no big link
Processing can be like yanking on scabs. Many are more like stitch marks now, and emote no great feeling or power over where my mind goes.
Happiness .. joys..loses.. regrets.. laughter to tears ..the pieces that all in all make Me.

The items. Far too many to list but years of photos. Lost pets collars and toys. My wedding certificate And divorce...(I have no children) Dad stuff.
The small treasured gifts from friends past and present. My yearbooks. Letters.
Wedding memorabialia. On and on.

I am grateful for the full life these things represent.
What to keep? Sell or give away? Toss time?
I conclude only this ~ I have too much stuff. 🙄😂
I think is a parody of the cluster fuck I call my life experiences to date.
Fortunate I have good days spattered liberally tbroughout my lifetime. I make myself have great hope for more.
I have "tough skin" perhaps. I have learned plenty.
I push on.
Lately I feel exhausted having had several back to back appointments. Lots my body and mind need to show up for. 🙃
Think think think.
The weather is cold and damp.
I have a small cold.
My get up and go...left.
So...for me I am at the true self care spot.
Rest. Get writing it out of my head. Plan the work time with less hard on self. Stretch and focus.
Anything that helps.
A few days free to just care for what I need to.

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