The Elephant

The no talk rule is often present in families with mental illness, abuse types, finacial issues etc. Silence. And not always a literally spoken rule. Just known.

Many call this "The Elephant Under The Carpet". Pretend it's not there.

No Talk can be serious as silence brews many other modes of coping. Some turn to self medicating, forms of denial, hidden self loathing, mental disorders.

When we learn early to not talk it becomes a way of survival and learning otherwise...albeit freeing...takes work and time and lots of trust.

Reality does get blurry when you learn to pretend something is not happening. There also comes a sense of fear if "The Elephant" gets exposed.

Exposing the Elephant is brave. Many may not be happy. Many may shut you dowm. Some will turn away. Sometimes you become a new "Elephant" for them.

I am learning that I find me through my past. My experiences ...the good, bad and ugly. Is it my focus? Only in knowing can I know what I need to change and work on today.

I don't relive my past for fun. Flashbacks will occur. Keeping my stress lower helps.
Getting proper rest...or rest period is essential.

I am learning that speaking in a safe spot is best and to share is freeing.

I am starting a Self Compassion workbook.

I give myself homework from therapy..ie;
1 Name ten things that are awesome about me?
2 What are my favorite ways to calm myself?
3 Name my support network list with contact info. Divide into 3 levels of There
There Usually and Always There as for who to count on for seriousness of your need in reaching out. Keep this list handy.
4 What are 5 short term goals to feeling healthier?
5 What do I feel inside and why? ( This self monitoring I am learning to do more often)
and more...

I can't live with 'The Elephant' anymore. I am sure it's time to put down new flooring and Ground myself in truths.