To Cope 🤯

-

Lordy my life...

It gets hectic in my head. I am trying very hard to stay in the moment.

Life has many challenges for me.

I have to cope. So staying in the present is so important for my sanity. The rest combines, jumbled, scary...let it be when and where it is. To not bring a future oncology appointnent into now. Just today. Just right now.

What do I need? How do I feel? Task at hand. Not back. Not forward.

Analogy;

If you are riding the life river a foot on one raft and a foot on another will only lead to a spill out. The rafts being Yesterdays and Tomorrows. The spill is on Today.

So. I took my hanging calander out of plain sight. Then it isn't baiting myself into worry.

I have taken out and dusted off my yoga matt. I know the basics. It works for meditation and set quiet time.

Routine. I am building on that. I have little pieces thar are routine but much of my life has no structure. I will make it part of my daily goals.

Focus and calm. I can get there.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being Real

-
There are many challenges in life. We don't get to pick many things we experience. Coming from a background of many abuses and abusers PTSD, anxiety, depression and Disocciative Identity Disorder developed. After many many moons I have done the majority of the trauma work needed to have my system of alters work more congruently. Far from perfect but more managable. I feel as integrated as possible at this time and am now focusing on my physical health and coping. I was diagnosed with Anal Cancer in 2014. It is slow progression and difficult to treat. Many surgeries to try to keep my sphyncter intact. Avoiding radiation and chemo as long as possible. I know it is there. I know it is growing. Time. Who knows what is to come. Another invisible illness that cannot be seen. "You look great" "You are so strong" "You are going to be ok." I know you cannot see my innards twist or my mind spin. I share my story so others know I too understand how it...
Read more

#ThisIsWhatAnxietyFeelsLike

-
Heart in your throat. Tears leak. The drop is quick. Racing heart. Gonna be ill. Sweat clad. Terror me. Alone me. For me...add shakes...inside tremors..disassociating with or without flashbacks. These can mimic some seizure like behavior and self harm (ie; scratch self, body bowing backward, breath holding, squeeling....) Fear is powerful. Fear unknown set off worse. Panic is evil. I am learning self care tools. More! In anxiety that grows I often forget how to use them.
Read more

Broken wing

-
Wounded bird One winged You cannot fly Some think Why don't you die.. What use are you.. What can you do.. It healed some yes Still not just right I see you bird We fight a broken fight One winged perhaps A change to life Adapt to cope We do in strife You never know My feathered friend In time we may find A fix to mend ~A.R.*
Read more