Reminiscing

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There are many things going in in my life. 

With PTSD and DID it gets very confusing as We try to manuever big issues we face;

Deaths of safe loved ones
Alzheimers loss parental
Financial strain 
Resurge of Anal cancer issues
Severe bursitus in leg still waiting treatment
New Surgeon to get used to (abuse issues)
Covid backups in healthcare so long waits for visits and tests
And so on...

I find myself thinking back. 

My mind seemingly a vault of pictures, short movies, clippings of lives past. 
Some complete with sound and smell if dwelled into more of a fear flashback. 

The bits and pieces memories can come faster and faster. 
Many stories. 
Adrenalyn heightens perhaps. 
Layers and jumbling. 
No rhyme or reason to my conversation. 
Bouncing in history. 

I have been told I become discombobulated. 

In the calm these moments in reminiscing can be part of healing. 
Memories as puzzle pieces. 
Alter times that now brought life parts together. 
It becomes part of my work. 
My therapy. 

I have been having these reminiscing episodes more perhaps due to being overtired and very stressed. 

Discombobulated yes. 
But for a time. 
Til another round comes. 
We learn.

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