When wee first came out

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Technology - long way from 1975 to now. She got fully out in 2006 ..I can only relay what I have been told ..
She was fascinated by the skinny TV, a machine that spit out paper pictures and such (printer/copier) different food, a gazillion channels and no bunny ears and tinfoil. What is this square thing that buzzes and makes noise (she shook it and looked it all over and pressed all the buttons on my cell phone)
Everything was different. And she wasn't with mama and sibs...what about kindergarten....her friends...who lived in this place (my house) was it a "safe house" and the other people Gaurds????Very confused. All these new machines she started to learn. She had time...

Lady in the mirror - there is a Gaurd that lives in the walls (at my house) and she was watching because she could see her in the mirrors. She was following Wee so she must be a body gaurd. She didn't see HER face and didn't yet think or know she was in a 'big body'. When panic happened to her she would scratch body and bend and squeal etc. She wondered about where that lady was. "Some body gaurd"
She loved the Gaurds though. Mama C
and the friend one Beans.

At night when she got scared and wouldn't wake either she would hide in the closet. Thank goodness for a walk in as I woke there many times....when it was more storage than closet was interesting to be up on boxes or piles of things add blanket and pillows.  Stuffed animals a must...and the dog. (Note: Blazer was the best dog and he just rolled with it all).

With Wee out and me hearing about things. I really thought they were making it up. Pulling my leg. I was still physically ill so I wasn't sure what was going on. I had been panicking all my life in different ways. Early on I literally passed out. Especially at church. Then I  couldn't sleep over and would vomit when night came..
And I never got good at sleepover anywhere all my life to date. (I will talk about the coping and a Comfort Bag another time). Later panic got worse and I didn't know I had been compartmentalizing these events and developing fragmented selves.
Wee was calling mama often. Thinking she was still in 'Orange carpet' 1975 but this safe house had lots of fancy stuff.

Ok..long blog. Enough for tonight.
Smile and laugh is better than crying.

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