Terrified

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I am on a new journey.
One I wish for no one.
It has taken my mind..my body..my whole being to places and feelings I have never experienced.
I know terror. External. Inflicted. This no.
Cancer.
In me. On me. Cuts. Repeated. Pre cancer on to cancer.
I do not know anything. It is all new. It is me.
"Good luck" "Stay positive" "You can do it" "You will be ok"...
I know all is well meant and has truth.
Today has been terrible.
Mental illness added has compounded what turmoil I am in.
Shock still there.
'I can't believe this is happening' just hits me.
Is this hell never ending?
Breathe. Today is all I can do.
Oncology one week and a day after surgery. The unknown abyys.
Terrified.

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