A 'Dread Day'

She woke up sweating. Her cold had not abandoned the body through the night. Crap. Still sick.
Hack, hack. She pulled herself upright. Ugh. Get up. GET UP.
Waddled off for a pee.
Yank on a sweater. She headed for the kitchen.
Wee Ticky was still asleep in his bed. All fours pointed to the ceiling. A gaurd dog was probably not his strong suit. More a floor...or face..cleaner.
This was on the Dreaded Day list. Like anniveraries of deaths, losses, bad memories. A day that just is a reminder.
There are Joy Days too.
This one was not in anyway close to Joy.
Her hands were shaking while she poured herself a cup of hot coffee.
No avoiding she picked up her phone.
Immediately the Date blinked at her.
Yes, she knew the day.
She liked to call it Singles Awareness Day aka VALENTINE'S DAY!!
At 47 she had her shared of fantastic love. That was perhaps the problem. Had she not known it she would not miss it. Too late.
Loads of hearthache sat heavy on this day.
A pretend smile if hiding was not possible.
She reminded herself chocolate would be on sale after midnight.
Not much consolation.
Pitter pitter pitter pitter. Wee paws headed down the hall. Ticky had shook off the slumber due to a full bladder. Out he went.
A wet, cold day.
No one to have a snuggle with.
The 6 pd dog didn't really fill that.
She craved human contact.
It was everyday but this day it was smack in her face.
Alone. Few friends. Not physically well. Not mentally well. Trying to cope.
Trying to live.
She remembered Living.
A Real life with a home and friends and a husband and job.
Those days were long long gone.
A long term love after. Trust broke and her heart too.
Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost.
Yes she was grateful to have loved. Just not on Dread Day.
Love was all over. But not all over her.
A life on social media. Her nose in a book. Lost in painting and drawing. Time blogging and again online advocating for mental illness.
People all over the world. Connected...but not.
Dreaded Day. She knew she wasn't alone.
The human condition perhaps. Seeking love. To not want to be so alone in life.
Craving connection.
WOOF...oh yeah...Ticky is not big enough to jump up on her chair.
Gathering him up...he is warm in her arm. Tiny kisses just because.
A fur baby.
He loved her.
She held him close. Letting him have him way at licking her face.
Set him down. While washing her face he sat at her feet.
Loyal and loving.
Her Dreaded Day could be worse.
She started to remember what she did have.
No Joy did not flood her.
She just used it to get through.
The whole day was crap. Her mood up and down like a zipper.
She survived. She was not harmed and did not lose it completely.
Dreaded Day over.