5 Alive

Tip 1 1. Breathe deep and slow 2. Feet planted standing in rest position. If you can't stand lay on firm surface or sit legs uncrossed. 3. Think of five things within proximity to you. Picture their shape,feel, texture, smell, colours...Do each item. 4. Pick five items you regularly see in nature.... visualuze shape, colour, feel etc... Did you relax? Tip 2 I have distraction items to focus on ~ A sparkle stick that has glitter that moves in it. Watch it. ~ soft twinkle lights. I have a strand on my dresser. I have a bulb that puts moving stars on the ceiling. I have a moon light glows on ceiling. I have a colour changing lamp. ~ worry beads. I use for counting when I can't focus. I use for mantra over and over when I can..repeat positive affirmations to myself..like "I am safe" "I am strong" my favorite is "I am Warrior Woman" ~ comics. I find on twitter or facebook or just online. I also have my favorite comic books at hand. Calvin and...

Yesterday grabs me. I don't seek it. I have worked and continue to work on today"s behavior and actions or reactions. No changing where I have been. For my tomorrows, not promised, I have lists. Goals dreams and wishes. Some are short term..like finishing a project or writing a friend. Some are the things that seem unattainable today...like travel. It is important for me to also remember to focus on the NOW. Being mindful from my breathing to my accomplishment each moment. I must feel it. Live it. I have homework that I got as part of my therapy and I have expanded the work to my self care and keeping a list of tips to remind myself when I am not doing good. Today is so important. I need to remember the smallest life gifts. Feel it. Live it. Be it. NOW

First of all make sure you are doing slow deep breaths. 4 in  4 hold 4 out pause. Repeat. Second, try to find a quiet spot...easy at home but if your out or in a social setting it is harder. There are a few outs..like the bathroom, or outside for air for a few minutes...even a hallway..a vehicle if you have...lobby... So distraction is a tool I use when I am feeling anxious/panic. This is what I consider a basic "kit" for mental health self care. ~ Something soft. Blanket. Stuffed plush pillow or toy. Yes. Stuffed animal.🐒 ~ Distraction simple games. Figet items like a cube, 3 smooth rocks to play with, glitter jar or stick ( the jar utube shows how to make one!), silly putty, drum sticks, hand stress ball ~Music,  or a movie if works for you. ~Hot/cold bean bag ~Safe people phone list for people, groups and hotlines in your area ~Simple stretching exercises I know there are so many. These would be a start...

5N DID Quiz 1. The body experienced trauma before the age of 7. 2. I feel like I have witnessed another part of myself being abused. 3. I startle easily. 4. I have or do harm the body. 5. As a small child, I enjoyed playing tricks by hiding inside my own body. 6. I don’t recall much of my childhood before the age of 12 years old. 7. I have had 'out of body experiences' or felt like I have 're-entered' body 8. There is more than one personality that shares my body. 9. Sometimes, I feel out of control when I’m talking. 10. I watch the body ‘do things’, as if 'I' am not controlling it or miss time 11. I have experienced child abuse. 12. I am in an abusive relationship now. 13. I often feel two contradictory feelings at the same time. 14. Much of the time, I feel detached from other people, places or time. 15. I sometimes find myself in unfamiliar places, unsure how I got there. 16. I have skills that I don’t recall learning. 17. I lose track ...

I am so ill. There are many days in bed not well. I celebrate the smallest of accomplishments. I have been in darkness for awhile now. Was in a desperate mindset for days. I am resolving to climb out of this hole. Unstuck myself. Use my self care tools. I am starting with a list. What makes me smile? I bet you want to know...lol. There ..silly jokes. Smile It is good even once I started to think about it..start small I thought...butterflies. Smile. My funny little dog. Squirrels chasing each other Birds Pretty landscapes Snowflakes...big fluffy ones Hot homebaked cookies Mexico trips Kid antics (I have great nieces and nephews and friends kids etc.) Bobs Burgers Shopping online Giving help to friends Well..smiles..and that was a start. So much in life cannot be controlled. Shit happens big and small. I have been to hell already so I know I am strong...somewhere within me. I will do the work. I will look at solutions not focus on the problems. Utilizing every old and n...

The past several days have been trying. I am trying to push through gastric problems due to repeated trauma events..it just caught up. My body is tapping out. Today..tears..not as bad as yesterday or the day before. I am not defeated. Today I am on the bench...life must hold on for me. I am doing small distraction. Ball exercise. Stretching the body. I have a glitter stick..got my warm blanket and playing with a bead thing for worry. Am scattered in thought and really tired. Sleep not my friend. Meds go in ... fear is bigger than... This is work. Breathing today. Deep breaths. Calm. Tears release on their own. No control. It passes. Always passes.

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Fear. Fight or flight. Anxiety Panic I am scared of nothing or things no longer there too. I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid of never getting quality life. I am just plain scared about living or dying today. I thought I had come to a spot of accepting leaving earth. I often have been quite ready to leave thank you. But I am here. Tonight fear is bigger than me. I tried square breathing exercise. I did some yoga. I prayed in my way. Meds. Sometimes. I try an hour or so. If it won't go. The high fear. I take a perscribed med. Sometimes it will let me sleep. Often not.