đź”’Escape

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I came to Mexico on vacation. I go home to find out my course for cancer treatment. My plan was to be my last hurrah...It was to be my last swim.
Suicide
I am so done with my life. My mental health has been five years of torture. Anxiety, panic and flashbacks. Surgery pain. Sick.
Here, away and out of my negative environment at home...I feel like myself.
Dissassociate far less. Eat easier. No thinking about my physical health.
I am wanting to leave this world.
A Living Pact is a promise to not kill myself. A promise I take seriously. I made one to my friend who came with me..long ago. She cannot let me go. She is not prepared or ready. I understand. I keep my promise quite reluctantly.
Last day and we fly out tonight.
I am in self care. Preparing with a sad and heavy heart.
Go back...

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