🔒My panic attacks

I get anxiety. I manage most often and have learned a lot about what sets me off. When it happens fast and I lose contol I am into a full blown panic attack.
Fear is powerful. I will be stuck in it.
Often it comes with flashbacks. I often feel a blackout state.
What to do...?
I have avoided the hospital. Am terried of being put in psych ward. I never have stayed in there. I have done many out patient services. From one on one therapy to day treatment group therapy..stress management, self care etc.
My dad was undiagnosed but spent a few days in when I was young. I don't want to ever go.
I go to my doc now or psychiatrist. I have medication to stop the body reaction. Puts me to sleep eventually. An attack is hard on my body and mind. Rest is good after it happens.
So..home care.
My attacks look much like seizures. My body is in fight or flight. Muscles working. Spasms. I will do what I call fish back..full back curve stuck for seconds. I am told some of these things. Some I am conscious it is happening. In and out...
Alters. Fugue.
I am in a memory and its vivid. Real. Smell and visual...I am reacting in like. Squeeling. Saying get off. .let go..no..mama help...
I can only imagine what helpless feeling another person has to watch me in this.
I try to do on my own. I will use phone if able. Even to call friend so they listen as long as it takes for me to come out of it.
I have always come out of it. Sometimes fast sometimes can take up to an hour.
Meds have been very helpful for me to get it stopped. Before them I could cycle in and out of panic attacks for days. Yes. I tried every herbal or natursl remedies. For me they do not have impact on panic but had helped some with anxiety.
I have evolved...so has my self help. Innovativion in medicines with some trial and error for me.
Everyone is different.
If you relate, have had anxiety and panic I send you a 🤗 big hug. Be strong. You are!