🔒Not a Dream

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Flooded by new memories as I untangle my own story. It has been rough. My body is in trauma mode trying to cope with what was.
Often I keep these things to myself. These horrid memories. Flashbacks come. Repeated. So real. I don't believe. I don't trust this mind. Can that be true?
So real. I know. I see. It comes with much detail. Too much.
I don't want to know. I don't want to see.
Unravelling is not done. Seems it never is.
A lifetime buried in secrets. Hiding. Hiding it from myself. Blocked out so long.
Is this healing? It does not feel so.
A demon. I knew many. Memories in pieces.
When was my life normal? In denial. In hiding within. Blacked out pieces of my puzzle.
Clueless and oblivious I never was. I just don't know it all. I felt the unease. I knew some things too well. Abused yes. I knew.
Extent and incidents buried.
They surface.
Triggered by an ongoing healtg issue.
Stitches on your bum when you have memories of sodomy are not a good combination.
Today. A blur.

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