The News Came

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Health is a gift. I have struggled with my mental health. Have tried to find all tools available for self care. I try to educate myself and educate others.
Tuesday I got some news. A new battle begins. I have blogged numerous times about my health problems without many answers. An ongoing issue as well. That particular one has turned bad.
I have cancer. The big 'C'.
I am in disbelief. I was sure it was over. I was believing. Faith. I was going to be free of the ongoing problem. I just had surgery a week ago. Doc and I said bye. Lol.
Stunned wore off. I fluxuate through the gambit of emotions. Sad...scared...angry..hurt...not much happy in there.
Explaining is the worst. I just want to curl up and cry. I had calls to make. Family and friends who were waiting to know my status. Support has been there.
The support I want is not.
It is just not there. I am single. Is only so much comfort a friend or sib can give.
When I am terrified I miss having a life partner. The hugs. The talks. The laughter. The tears. Being held. Holding on.

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