Stay?

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I have really been struggling. Almost an agoraphobic response to going out.
I am in so much therapy because my mind is blown away by anal cancer and ongoing treatment.
I don't want to do this anymore. It isn't really a choice. I feel trapped in myself. I feel trapped in a life I am coming to hate.
Why should I keep going?
I am a good friend?
I have few real friends. I bought Christmss gifts for pretend friends...I wanted to feel like I have people surrounding me with love. I don't.
People don't contact me. I am tired if reaching out for a quick text response of "xoxo" or "wish I could be there".
Why should I stay?

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