My Anal Cancer

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I have HPV related Anal Cancer. Meaning, I get spots on the outside of my sphyncter. (They can come up anywhere sexual fluids travel, front to back. Many women get HPV related Cervical cancer. My cervix is clear.) I have spots forward that were benign and two there to be lasered end of January.
Anal Cancer is spots that become tag like and the cells turn from pre cancer to cancer.
A year ago I had cancer taken. Pre cancer was left. I have two areas again. I am waiting for a Surgery date.
I got HPV from an ex partner. He had gone elsewhere. I was devastated then.
I continue to be devastated. I can't get away from it.
Everyday I have to face it again.
It is a lonely, painful and frightening place.
Therapy. Lots of it. I continue to barely cope.
Depression and anxiety are strong many days.
Sunshine comes.
It does.
I wait.
Some days it shines from me.

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