School days

The town was growing. In the 70s you could be sure no matter where you went you were bound to run into someone you know. 
Kindergarten was a magical place where I I met the world. I had a black teacher who I thought was an angel. This town didn't have much mixed race nor did we care. As a child I only knew she was beautiful.
Some of you reading this are probably time travelling in their mind to those days.
The kindergarten had its own play area. The "Big kids" were at the back of the school...to me a mile away since I couldn't see my older brother.
Mrs. Magic could sing like an angel. She was teaching me about numbers and letters and God and love. I felt a safety from her. Big hugs. Those were the days when a teacher would take you in their arms if you were hurt or sad or just because...
I remember the piano she played and little matts meant for nap time. I always wanted nap time. No one knew I was hardly sleeping. Living in fear that my dad was going to hurt my mom. Knowing that nothing could stop him...not even a court order. He knew how far 15ft was. You can cuss and invoke fear from the end of the driveway.
No sleep. I tried hard to make friends. I was shy so I  learned to be silly. I loved to see others smile. I was sensitive. I think I wanted reprieve from feeling dirty and scared. I would never speak of it. I had a stable home. I did in many respects. My mother tried desperately to keep my dad from having custodial access. My older siblings could and did already decided not to go to  dad's.  My brother almost 10 and me almost 5...we were in the court's hands. My mother had suffered at my dad's hand but she never though he would physically hurt his children. She never knew what was going on.
We came home with a sullen mood that would pass in time for us to go back.
He had a gun. I had listened to his drunken rants. Loading and unloading the  gun.
Kindergarten was a great escape. Mrs. Magic taught me to sing about a dog named Bingo and that They know we are Christians by our love...
I am sure the signs add up today but not then. Not for years and years.
Wee cycles in this time. She loves Mrs. Magic.  She learned to tie her shoes. She got a star for helping. She got to use a string to throw paint on the paper. Time travelling....
I remember my brother coming across to the kindergarten play area. Not supposed to do that. I sneak up the hill. He tells me he's leaving. Dad's waiting at the far back fence. I run after him. The gate closes and I watch them drive away.
I am in the principles office. My brother is missing. What do I know?
I can't tell. He told me not to. I don't want to be in trouble. I don't want to get my brother in trouble. They have called my mom.
Why didn't he take me too? I was very confused. Lost without my brother.