🔒This old trigger

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The original...the one and only...Cologne of the day. Circa...forever
Old Spice
I can't even look at the white bottle scent. It was a scent that I have no fond memories of. Bad shit happened and Old Spice can be it's companion.
They have come up with new fragrances and I don't know them but I  can smell the original from the 70 Era a mile away. It can set me off and I don't catch it being the trigger. I can't watch and worry constantly that I could be triggered. This is just one item, one smell or visual. I would be adding some paranoia then.😲
I go on. I don't even know what the triggers are most times. It's a lot of back tracking to try to pinpoint what it may be. By then too late if an attack of panic occurs. It can come on very fast and build to a dissassocative seizure like episode.
Some things like being over tired or already nervous or stressed means I am more vulnerable.
That means not being able to live in chaos. I am quiet spot to be on my path of healing. Drama and noise and disharmony are not places I feel safe to be in long term. I work at many things and make as much compromise where I can. Safe to be me is where I have to be.

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